Adventures Of The Heart, Love Beyond The Binary

Posted February 11, 2019 By Frank Strona

Love

A simple word with so many meanings and so much weight as Valentine’s Day looms on the horizon.

from Adventures of the Heart

Love and rules

At this time of the year – we often see a commercial push to “define” how and what makes up relationships. If we leave it up to “Hallmark Channel” sensibilities, that would often mean a clear and defined binary coupling between a man and women. Well, guess what folks – it’s 2019 and that is one “standard” that is neither acceptable nor as simple.

As more and more people seek to live out authentic lives in work, play and love, a pendulum shift is in play that redefines who with and how people partner up, some of that redefining includes even the a new exploration of what definition of what a “couple” means, how agreements are formed between those involved and rules of engagements in and out of the relationship.

Love and “couples”

For those fearful of the change, or who demand with such a dedication that borders on zealousness, that relationship is a 2-person dynamic, this expansion of who we partner needs to be met with calm, reserved refraction. Not trying to defend and correct what they believe is wrong. Rather, display and model that what others believe may also be acceptable and that “love” comes in many forms.

Love your way

In Leon Fox’s, Adventures of the Heart found in the current issue of The Fight Magazine is a great example and serves as a way to encourage everyone to check personal bias and assumptions at the door before attempting to define how and what makes a relationship work.

For the full article visit Leon’s Adventures Of The Heart

Filed in #MentorSFCA | Tagged: couples, love, relationship

LGBT Coaches Bring MORE Diversity to All Professions

Posted February 3, 2019 By Frank Strona

Ensuring space for diversity in the representation of Coaches to meet client needs.

Options matter to most Clients

Coaching is about meeting the right person to fill the right need to help inspire and enrich an experience.

Some clients prefer to choose Coaches by content specialty. Other by age, race even gender.

Sometimes clients who come from marginalized and stigmatized communities may opt to work with someone more closely aligned with the “world lens” they share. LGBT persons can often fall into this group as well. Now I don’t mean to say that a non-LGBT professional isn’t capable of working with LGBT clients.

Rather what I propose is that clients may find more comfort in the “sameness”. In fact, it may allow them to reduce any feeling that they have to explain the context externally, before being willing to go internally. Even the most well-intentioned and informed ally to LGBT people has to learn about and experience it somewhere. That often provides a perspective that may or may not reflect a wider view held by those who are LGBT.

The Gay Coaches Alliance, 8th Annual Spring conference, May 2-5,2019

Registration is now open and they are still taking inquiries on participation options. This year’s conference is hosted at Easton Mountain Retreat in Greenwich, NY. The theme this year is “Gay MEN – Everyone’s a Coach: Bringing MORE Coaching to All Professions”.

The hosting organization, The Gay Coaches Alliance clearly see the need for more coaches from the gay and bisexual men’s community, as well as the needs of gay and bisexually, identified men. In fact, they put it out that way on the membership website

“Whether you’re a coach in training, a practicing coach, credentialed coach, or master coach, OR if you happen to be a therapist, psychologist, social worker, spiritual director, minister, or other professional working with coaching…. WE want you to come“.

I have several colleagues and friends who are on this group, including Leonid Frolov one of the two creators of the Flourish As Gay workshop on tour currently and they have always spoken highly of the conference.

For details visit http://gaycoachconference.com/more2019

If you are a Gay or Bisexual Coach, check out the facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/TheGayCoaches/ or visit the Gay Coaches Alliance site for membership details.

Filed in #MentorSFCA, Announcements

Get yourself out there, finding your inner public side of being noticed

Posted January 29, 2019 By Frank Strona

In the past, I have written about ways to “get yourself out there” and be noticed.

Yet, many of us still wake up and wonder “how can I get myself noticed and invited to those cool events as a speaker? Especially with the wide range of digital media today – being a guest on someone else’s blog or podcast can take some work, a little bit of luck and lots of practice.

Three Reminders To Getting Noticed

Some of the best ways to widen your personal landscape include the use of old-fashioned Collaboration.

That’s right, back to those concepts we all learned in school about coming together to build, create or share as a group. Collaboration doesn’t have to be a hard thing if you know a few simple tricks;

1) Stay in your lane — don’t try to be the know it all.

2) Let others shine — We all want a moment to sparkle, don’t be that person to stand in someone’s way.

3) Be Self-aware — understanding what’s around while it is happening is a huge asset in group roles.

4) Take a risk — and trust that everyone was the “new” person at some time

5) Listen first, then speak

When you get done with collaborating, then its time to Share Resources.

Make it a habit to offer and give if yourself to those starting out, or who are going through transitions you yourself have. Resources can be links, books, names of contacts and even simply your time. Too many times we try to keep, for ourselves content and knowledge that in reality, isn’t going to bring you any benefit. But could make a significant impact on someone else.

Lastly, make sure you are using #5 from collaborations every day Listen.

People offer “gifts” of knowledge and wisdom all around us. while waiting in line for the bus, at the coffee shop or at networking events.

For instance, I found several of my favorite tools for social media promotions from asking and listening to those in the field longer than I, when I asked the question “which of the three tools did you start with, but now wish you had used more once you new more of the trade“.

That discussion pitched itself into a very cool philosophical one on learning, looking back, moving forward and along the way. – so many examples and suggestions were tossed out that I just made a list. then once home I revisited the list and explored one a day.

A few I am sharing a lot about this week include:

Podcast Guests for when you are looking for guest or ready to be a guest *

Canva – for quick image and design needs

The Quick and Easy Guide to Resizing Images Online

How to Record Your Screen on a Mac and Windows 10

The HPP Journal – the place for educators in the Health Science and related field can get research and into the hands of teachers

* Items marked with an asterisk may be a current affiliate link on a product I am currently using and enjoying.

Filed in Engage! Post, Tips & Hints, Trending in Tech

The month isn’t over yet. Still time to start those NYE intentions and flourish

Posted January 20, 2019 By Frank Strona

Are you ready to Flourish?

Update – the San Francisco Workshop is being rescheduled. More to come

While many of us start January of a new year with intention of recovering and setting new goals. Sometimes come February we need a little help to get kick-started. For LGBT folks, resources are often harder to find that understand the life experiences we hold while balancing all the other parts of our lives.

But wait – help is on the way when you are ready to flourish!

Just in time to keep that New Year’s resolution, on January 30, 2019, at the SF LGBT Center (1800 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94102) comes Flourishing As Gays.

Coaching colleagues Dominic Longo and Leonid Frolov are taking Flourishing As Gays on the road this month with workshops in several cities including San Francisco. The workshop intends to offer a reflective and interactive experience for gay/bi and other men who enjoy sex with men and who yearn to flourish.

Daring its attendees to take an active role in change and discover how to connect with the deep sources of meaning and energy within each of us. Bringing to the surface your own uniquely fabulous flourishing, at whatever stage of life you are in.

It’s not an armchair workshop. To Flourish takes active engagement

The agenda they have put together is about being part of the experience. This isn’t a show-up and sit workshop. Come prepared to be active, take a risk and meet some new people.

What will you do at the Workshop?

They guys shared with me some of the agenda and share more details it on the link below as well

Reflect and share
Move and be still
Connect and be known
Play and be real
Be safe and comfortable
Take risks and be vulnerable within the boundaries that are right for you

What more details on how you can Flourish?

Visit the Flourishing as Gays link for more information and ticketing details HERE

Filed in Engage! Post, Events, Upcoming | Tagged: bisexual, Gay, LGBT, workshop

A Night Of Ideas; One Theme, 120 Cities, 70 Events, 65 countries; Feb 2 2019

Posted January 15, 2019 By Frank Strona

Facing our Time: The City of the Future

A Night Of Ideas; One Theme, 120 Cities, 70 Events, 65 countries; Feb 2 2019

This year, Night of Ideas will take place in five U.S. cities culminating in San Francisco at the San Francisco Public Library – Feb 2.

A Night of Ideas is 7-hour marathon of philosophical debate, performances, screenings, readings & music

I happened across this event announcement in my monthly issue of The Library and it stimulated my thinking.

According to the website for NIGHTSOFIDEASSF

With keynotes, panels and presentations by diverse voices including artist JR, Dominique Crenn of Atelier Crenn, Tristan Harris, Co-founder of The Center for Humane Technology, Mayor London Breed, Gérard Araud, French Ambassador to the United States, John Law, Founder of Burning Man, architect Nicola Delon, designer of the French pavilion at the Venice Biennale,Dominique Alba, director of the Paris Urbanism Agency,Michael Krasny, host of KQED’s Forum program, and Alison Arieff of SPUR, the San Francisco edition of Night of Ideas expects thousands to participate in the evening’s exchange of ideas and creative dialogue.

Note: Night of Ideas is free to the public event but guests should register online here to guarantee a spot.

For more details visit https://www.nightofideassf.com

Or visit them on FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/events/785700691822035/

Filed in Engage! Post

It’s no secret that I’m a planner and journaling junkie.

Posted December 18, 2018 By Frank Strona

In fact, I’ve written about my love of journals in the past…

Not mention how useful they can be for the professional as well as the those recovering from illness or setbacks. I have collected many different styles over the years. Some end up as favorites and some I had less than stellar experience within the style, from expensive to handmade, limited edition finds. I even go so far as to create decorative bookmarks and planner/binder keepers for friends and clients from random thrift store finds.

In the last two years, there’s been an influx of electronic versions adaptable for both the laptop and the mobile device. Many of which offer monthly subscriptions as well as an annual or limited free plan. I dabbled in a few of them as well.

But in the end, “I keep coming back to the reality that I still like mapping out my ideas using pen and paper.” I even have this year’s personal planner/journal ready to go on January 1, 2019. It is one I picked up in August from TEDxProvincetown when I did the recent TEDx talk on size, body Image and how we shape our social success and yes, that is the repurposing of an old school record as the cover.

Well, it seems I am not the only one.

This is exactly why, much like the search for the perfect fitting pair of underwear or favorite pair of footwear, I’m always on the search and often meet up with folks who express the same need for a “fix”. Now, before you say – “ah this is an affiliate promotion“, it’s not. It’s just my geeking way of saying “I found a new one!”.

The newest kid due out and currently in Kickstarter phase is called The Content Creators Planner. My promotion of the Content Creators Planner is not as a paid affiliate or is being offered because of samples or promo material. I mention it because I really felt that it spoke to me and my need to balance how I create content. According it’s developers Kim Doyle and Jodi Hersh it can help those of us looking for more balance and adaptable support to create a strategy that supports our creative and business goals.

The elements in the Content Creators Planner is said to help it’s users “define our goals, map out our content strategy, shape content, schedule it and measure it!“

After listening to Kim and Jodi’s pitch and seeing how strong they are with content development themselves, with only 16 days left in the Kickstarter, I figured now was the time to get mine. If you are looking for an “I deserve it gift” for yourself or someone else – the Content Creators Planner is a definite “try it” for those of us looking to capture and wrangle our content creation using old-school pen and paper coupled with designs coming from content creators themselves.

Check out The Content Creators Planner Kickstarter page, the website or the Content Creators Facebook Group. Kim also has a great podcast called The Kim Doyal Show

Filed in Engage! Post | Tagged: journal, journaling, planner

Tips for Returning to Work After an Extended Break

Posted December 13, 2018 By GuestSpot

While the causes of extended work breaks can vary, it’s no secret that returning to work after an absence can be tricky. There are many factors that can contribute to an inability to work, including a physical or mental disability, an injury, chronic fatigue, or even stress. As you prepare to return to work, you may be experiencing feelings such as stress, anxiety, excitement, or nervousness. All of these feelings are normal and valid, but there are several things you can do to ensure that your return to the workplace goes smoothly.

Make Sure You Are Really Ready

There are many reasons people have to take a break from working. Some are more personal than others. As such you should make sure that whatever took you out of the workforce for a time is resolved. As this work injury consultant explains, many work-related injuries affect your ability to do your job, or future employment, and even small injuries can become more debilitating over time. So it’s important that things are resolved. If there was a workplace accident that caused it, make sure any personal feelings against your company you may have won’t affect your ability to work. If your break was caused by a physical injury, make sure your job understands your physical capabilities and will accommodate.

Prepare Yourself Mentally

Make sure you prepare mentally for returning to work. Understand that, although there are many causes of extended work breaks, your coworkers may ask you for specific information. Decide how much information — if any — you plan to share. Keep in mind that office dynamics may have shifted or changed while you were away. This can be a bit tricky to deal with, but learning to interact with your office coworkers once again is important.

Understand Your Current Duties

If office policies or procedures changed while you were away, make sure you brush up on your current duties. Try to develop an understanding of what is expected of you as quickly as possible. This will help reduce stress, anxiety, and frustration as you begin to navigate your office once more.

Focus on the Job

While it can be easy to feel overwhelmed with your return to work or with your coworkers, try to focus on the job at hand as much as possible. When you focus on completing your work efficiently and properly, you won’t be worried about what people are thinking or how frustrated you feel over your return to the workplace. This health and wellness specialist explains, if you focus on your work and do a good job there are many health benefits! People who work hard, and feel they accomplish good work at their job tend to be less stressed and have greater job satisfaction.

Reassure Yourself

Sometimes, taking an extended work break can be a confidence shaker. You might feel anxious about the idea of returning to your old job. Maybe you question yourself. This is okay! These feelings are normal, so it’s important that you focus on reassuring yourself. Remind yourself that you’re good at your job and that you were hired for a reason. When you focus on your credentials and abilities, you’ll begin to feel more confident in your position.

p style=”padding-left: 30px;”>No matter what type of job you have, remember that returning to work can bring with it many different emotions and feelings. Regardless of what you’ve gone through, it’s possible to return to work and to feel great about it. Just remember to take things one day at a time.

Filed in Engage! Post

Do College Degrees Still Mean the Same Thing?

Posted November 18, 2018 By GuestSpot

College costs in the United States are on the rise, and many graduates are moving back home with their parents because they can’t afford to be on their own. Graduates are struggling to find a lucrative career that fits their degree, which leaves them in danger of falling behind on their student loans.

In fact, their salaries may never meet their expectations. One has to wonder: Is a college degree still worth it? While it may seem like colleges are simply making you pay a fortune for a piece of paper, the evidence suggests that a college degree still matters.

A College Diploma Proves You Have What It Takes to Succeed

While you may feel like the liberal arts portion of your college experience is a waste of time, it proves you have a diversified learning experience. You may discover a particular area of strength that will help you choose your area of focus.

Most importantly, your college degree proves that you have the knowledge, work ethic, and skills that are necessary for your career. Many jobs require a two-year, four-year, or master’s degree before you can even be considered for an interview.

Your Future Employer Will Recognize Your Credentials

As you sit down at the table for your interview after college graduation, your employer will look at your past experiences. This will include your performance in college. Your recommendations from professors and other mentors will provide you with a network of opportunities for promotion.

You will be able to get your foot in the door when you have a recognizable degree. Without a college diploma, you may not have as many opportunities.

Statistics Prove You Are Going to Earn More With a Degree

College may be expensive, but it will pay off. This holds especially true if you have a versatile degree that can be applied to a variety of positions. You also need to consider choosing a degree that will match you with viable opportunities for employment.

When you look at the research, you will find that college graduates make more than those with only a high school diploma. Don’t give up, regardless of how difficult it might be to pay off your student loans.

In the end, your college degree can be your ticket to the job of your dreams, though you may have to pay your dues by starting out at the bottom. With persistence, you can work your way up.

Consider grants and scholarships that can lower the costs of higher learning. You may be fortunate enough to have a free ride that will pave the way to a lifetime of success.

Struggling to finish your college degree? Get affordable and powerful mentorship with my assistance. Sign up today for powerful individualized learning opportunities!

Filed in Resources

The 3 Unexpected Ways a Life Coach Impacts Your Life

Posted October 29, 2018 By Frank Strona

A Life Coach?

From time to time I ask folks to offer thoughts and experiences that connect with the MentorSF themes. This week we have some great content that builds on my previous post how to be the best we are meant to be with a guest spot from Kristie Santana, founder of the National Coach Academy (NCA) whose book “Walks of Like” book I purchased some time back

Question

Ask the average person what they think the average life coach session is like, and you’ll probably receive an answer like this:

“Well, first you explain to the coach your problem or challenge, and then the coach listens attentively and provides feedback on how to best tackle the problem. Then you leave the session feeling empowered to take on any challenge life throws your way.”

While all of the above is true, it doesn’t tell the complete story. Coaching is about much more than solving real-world problems.

Don’t get me wrong, solving problems out there in the real world is a core component of any reputable coach training program you enroll in when you first learn how to become a life coach. But experienced coaches know that before any external problem solving can happen, their client must feel internally prepared first. This is the part of coaching that is often overlooked.

Here are three unexpected benefits of coaching most clients receive after working with a life coach.

Accountability

Expectation: A life coach is a stranger who provides objective guidance on solving problems, but in the end I’m on my own and must make my own decisions.

Reality: While it’s true that only the client can make the important decisions, forming a relationship with a life coach creates a whole new layer of accountability that will follow the client every step he takes.

And far from being a stranger, a coach becomes a trusted friend and confidant from the moment the client shows any degree of vulnerability. It is simply human nature: we tend to grow closer to those who see us struggle, and after just one session the coach is no longer a stranger. The coach becomes someone to be accountable toward, and this can make all the difference between losing control and taking control.

Self Discovery

Expectation: I will tell my coach the problem I’m facing and the coach will tell me how to overcome them.

Reality: Before tackling anything specific, a good coach knows the first true battle is always in the mind. I like to bring up one of my favorite quotes by Will Smith. He said, “The question isn’t ‘Can you handle the situation?’. The question is ‘Can you handle your mind?’. Can you manage the thoughts and the emotions that are trying to poison your progress?”

This is the most valuable takeaway message any coaching client can take from their coaching session–almost regardless of what the session was about, specifically. While coaches are trained to tackle a variety of different situations and challenges, it is the ability to manage your mind that will empower a client to success.

This is very different from what most clients walk into a coach’s office thinking, which is usually externally focused–”How can I solve this problem?”

Perspective

Expectation: A coach will understand how just how important this challenge is to me, and if I don’t overcome it, my life just won’t be right.

Reality: While understanding your priorities and respecting your position, a coach will help you realize that you can overcome even worst-case scenarios, and the challenge facing you at the moment, while important, does not and will not define your life as a whole.

When you walk out of your first coaching session, instead of feeling a sense of dread or nervousness to face the challenge before you, you’ll have a renewed sense of confidence, knowing that your life is not defined by the outcome. That is a powerful mental shift that many students do not expect before making their first appointment.

Conclusion

The best coaches I’ve met understand that clients already have what it takes to overcome challenges. They understand that their purpose, more than providing clarity to any external challenge, is to empower clients and bring out their sense of self-efficacy. Once that is achieved, the client is ready to tackle whatever life throws their way.

Kristie Santana is the founder of National Coach Academy (NCA). She is a Master Certified Coach with over 15 years experience coaching clients all over the world.

Filed in Engage! Post | Tagged: coaching

5 Creative Ways to Solve a Problem

Posted October 26, 2018 By GuestSpot

Problems !?!?!?

Solving problems is a part of life, whether you are a problem solver at work or with your entire household. Implementing creative methods to solve problems helps make tasks less daunting while allowing you to view your goals as much more achievable.

Take a Break from Work

Hectic, stressful, and long work days have become commonplace in many industries today. While it is optimal to remain productive at all times, it is not feasible for most, even if you love and have a passion for your career. Take a break from work to unwind and relax your mind. Get some exercise by visiting the gym or taking a walk around your neighborhood. Spend ten minutes each day meditating to clear your mind without constantly feeling distracted or busy. Meet up with friends to socialize while disconnecting from work to feel more refreshed once you are back to the task of solving problems again.

Keep an Idea Journal

Keeping an idea journal is a great way to monitor and track your thoughts, ideas, and goals without losing or forgetting them. Idea journals come in handy during business meetings, conferences, and even when brainstorming on your own time. Use idea journals to doodle, create lists, or even share personal thoughts and opinions about relevant issues in your life. With an idea journal, you have the luxury of instantly looking back on dates to recall thoughts and memories that are helpful and useful for what’s at hand.

Read Relevant Business Books

Read relevant business books by authors who specialize in inspiration, motivation, and running successful companies. Seek out mentors in your industry or in the field you want to be a problem solver in. Spend time reading to disconnect from your hectic schedule while learning more methods and techniques that are suitable for you when approaching problems in your life.

Watch Motivational Videos

Getting inspired is one of the best ways to boost your creative juices while remaining focused and ready to tackle problems. Use communities such as Ted, YouTube, and Vimeo to seek out motivational videos that keep you on the right track for hitting your goals.

Host a Brainstorming Session

Host a brainstorming session with friends, co-workers, or employees regularly to discuss problems that require attention. Jot down ideas, thoughts, and opinions to learn more about solutions that are on the table.

These same techniques work for any creative process: art, writing, music, etc. For all those times when problems or creative roadblocks seem to stress you out, it’s best to put on something comfy and stylish and take a timeout. When you need to get creative with your problem-solving techniques, use the suggestions above to avoid feeling burnt out or unable to continue with any goals and plans you have in mind.

If you have a desire to grow personally or professionally, have a need for training, facilitation or other consultations, curious about technology and social media, have a “gut” feeling that you are out of step with yourself and others. You are in the right place.

Find The “Right” Partner

Lots of folks exist that can be available to help you solve problems. Some of the best ways to get clarity and help you strategize an action or see a solution is the use of mentors and coaches. Be on the lookout for next week, when the Engage Guest Spot post, that builds on my previous post how to be the best we are meant to be with share some insight from Kristie Santana, founder of the National Coach Academy (NCA) whose book “Walks of Like” book I purchased some time back.

References: