The 3 Unexpected Ways a Life Coach Impacts Your Life

Posted October 29, 2018 By Frank Strona

A Life Coach?

From time to time I ask folks to offer thoughts and experiences that connect with the MentorSF themes. This week we have some great content that builds on my previous post how to be the best we are meant to be with a guest spot from Kristie Santana, founder of the National Coach Academy (NCA) whose book “Walks of Like” book I purchased some time back


Ask the average person what they think the average life coach session is like, and you’ll probably receive an answer like this:

“Well, first you explain to the coach your problem or challenge, and then the coach listens attentively and provides feedback on how to best tackle the problem. Then you leave the session feeling empowered to take on any challenge life throws your way.”

While all of the above is true, it doesn’t tell the complete story. Coaching is about much more than solving real-world problems.

Don’t get me wrong, solving problems out there in the real world is a core component of any reputable coach training program you enroll in when you first learn how to become a life coach. But experienced coaches know that before any external problem solving can happen, their client must feel internally prepared first. This is the part of coaching that is often overlooked.

Here are three unexpected benefits of coaching most clients receive after working with a life coach.


Expectation: A life coach is a stranger who provides objective guidance on solving problems, but in the end I’m on my own and must make my own decisions.

Reality: While it’s true that only the client can make the important decisions, forming a relationship with a life coach creates a whole new layer of accountability that will follow the client every step he takes.

And far from being a stranger, a coach becomes a trusted friend and confidant from the moment the client shows any degree of vulnerability. It is simply human nature: we tend to grow closer to those who see us struggle, and after just one session the coach is no longer a stranger. The coach becomes someone to be accountable toward, and this can make all the difference between losing control and taking control.

Self Discovery

Expectation: I will tell my coach the problem I’m facing and the coach will tell me how to overcome them.

Reality: Before tackling anything specific, a good coach knows the first true battle is always in the mind. I like to bring up one of my favorite quotes by Will Smith. He said, “The question isn’t ‘Can you handle the situation?’. The question is ‘Can you handle your mind?’. Can you manage the thoughts and the emotions that are trying to poison your progress?”

This is the most valuable takeaway message any coaching client can take from their coaching session–almost regardless of what the session was about, specifically. While coaches are trained to tackle a variety of different situations and challenges, it is the ability to manage your mind that will empower a client to success.

This is very different from what most clients walk into a coach’s office thinking, which is usually externally focused–”How can I solve this problem?”


Expectation: A coach will understand how just how important this challenge is to me, and if I don’t overcome it, my life just won’t be right.

Reality: While understanding your priorities and respecting your position, a coach will help you realize that you can overcome even worst-case scenarios, and the challenge facing you at the moment, while important, does not and will not define your life as a whole.

When you walk out of your first coaching session, instead of feeling a sense of dread or nervousness to face the challenge before you, you’ll have a renewed sense of confidence, knowing that your life is not defined by the outcome. That is a powerful mental shift that many students do not expect before making their first appointment.


The best coaches I’ve met understand that clients already have what it takes to overcome challenges. They understand that their purpose, more than providing clarity to any external challenge, is to empower clients and bring out their sense of self-efficacy. Once that is achieved, the client is ready to tackle whatever life throws their way.


Kristie Santana is the founder of National Coach Academy (NCA). She is a Master Certified Coach with over 15 years experience coaching clients all over the world.


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5 Creative Ways to Solve a Problem

Posted October 26, 2018 By GuestSpot

Problems !?!?!?

Solving problems is a part of life, whether you are a problem solver at work or with your entire household. Implementing creative methods to solve problems helps make tasks less daunting while allowing you to view your goals as much more achievable.

Take a Break from Work

Hectic, stressful, and long work days have become commonplace in many industries today. While it is optimal to remain productive at all times, it is not feasible for most, even if you love and have a passion for your career. Take a break from work to unwind and relax your mind. Get some exercise by visiting the gym or taking a walk around your neighborhood. Spend ten minutes each day meditating to clear your mind without constantly feeling distracted or busy. Meet up with friends to socialize while disconnecting from work to feel more refreshed once you are back to the task of solving problems again.

Keep an Idea Journal

Keeping an idea journal is a great way to monitor and track your thoughts, ideas, and goals without losing or forgetting them. Idea journals come in handy during business meetings, conferences, and even when brainstorming on your own time. Use idea journals to doodle, create lists, or even share personal thoughts and opinions about relevant issues in your life. With an idea journal, you have the luxury of instantly looking back on dates to recall thoughts and memories that are helpful and useful for what’s at hand.

Read Relevant Business Books

Read relevant business books by authors who specialize in inspiration, motivation, and running successful companies. Seek out mentors in your industry or in the field you want to be a problem solver in. Spend time reading to disconnect from your hectic schedule while learning more methods and techniques that are suitable for you when approaching problems in your life.

Watch Motivational Videos

Getting inspired is one of the best ways to boost your creative juices while remaining focused and ready to tackle problems. Use communities such as Ted, YouTube, and Vimeo to seek out motivational videos that keep you on the right track for hitting your goals.

Host a Brainstorming Session

Host a brainstorming session with friends, co-workers, or employees regularly to discuss problems that require attention. Jot down ideas, thoughts, and opinions to learn more about solutions that are on the table.

These same techniques work for any creative process: art, writing, music, etc. For all those times when problems or creative roadblocks seem to stress you out, it’s best to put on something comfy and stylish and take a timeout. When you need to get creative with your problem-solving techniques, use the suggestions above to avoid feeling burnt out or unable to continue with any goals and plans you have in mind.

If you have a desire to grow personally or professionally, have a need for training, facilitation or other consultations, curious about technology and social media, have a “gut” feeling that you are out of step with yourself and others. You are in the right place.

Find The “Right” Partner

Lots of folks exist that can be available to help you solve problems. Some of the best ways to get clarity and help you strategize an action or see a solution is the use of mentors and coaches. Be on the lookout for next week, when the Engage Guest Spot post, that builds on my previous post how to be the best we are meant to be with share some insight from Kristie Santana, founder of the National Coach Academy (NCA) whose book “Walks of Like” book I purchased some time back.


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Stress and Struggling with Debt? Try These Tips

Posted October 19, 2018 By GuestSpot

If you are facing student loans, credit card payments, or other types of debt, trying to repay those balances can feel overwhelming. However, it is important to not let the stress of your debt get to you. Let’s take a look at some ways that you can stay calm and work through your debt issue in a steady and timely manner.

Create a Plan to Get Out of Debt

Finding a debt reduction method that works for you is critical to your success. Many people choose to use the snowball debt reduction method because it allows you to start making progress quickly. When using this system, you start by paying down the lowest balance first while making minimum payments on other balances. Once the lowest balance is paid off, you pay down the next lowest balance until they are all paid off.

Don’t Let Stress Be an Excuse for Poor Decisions

It is easy to use the stress of being in debt as an excuse to make poor decisions. For instance, you may decide to take out another credit card or go to dinner when you can’t afford to. While it may work to comfort you in the short-term, it will only make it harder to get out of debt.

How Do You Make Good Decisions When Under Financial Strain?

Getting out of debt is a lot like losing weight or starting a new exercise routine. The goal at first is to simply start learning and applying good habits that you can use for the rest of your life. While your debt won’t go away in one day, understanding how to manage money can prevent debt from being a constant problem in your life.

Find Healthy Ways to Manage Your Stress

When you are feeling stressed, you should take a walk to clear your head or go to the gym to let off steam. It may also be a good idea to watch a movie at home or spend some time playing with your pet. The goal is to get your mind off of your stress until you no longer feel like going on a retail binge or otherwise engaging in unhealthy behavior.

While debt is not always avoidable, it is important that you don’t spend more than you can afford to repay. If you do, it could lead to stress and other negative consequences. Ideally, you will find a way to repay the debt and learn strategies to avoid borrowing too much money again in the future.

Dealing with financial stress and learning to handle money wisely can be overwhelming to handle alone. Contact me for mentoring services that can help you turn your life in a better, more successful direction!


TEDxProvincetown Final Playlist is now available

Posted October 18, 2018 By Frank Strona
Speakers image list from TEDxProvincetown

That’s right.

Now you can see all of the presentations from TEDxProvincetown on one screen by checking out the TEDxProvincetown playlist.

Scroll down and see it here.

You can find out more about TEDxProvincetown on its website: 

Read more about the other speakers:

The hashtags & social media accounts for TEDxProvincetown include: 

#TEDxPtown, #TEDxProvincetown

Facebook: [@TEDxProvincetown

Twitter:  [@TEDxPtown Profile, hashtag: #TEDxProvincetown]

Instagram: [TEDxProvincetown– profile, hashtag #TEDxPtown]


Sharing is as easy as One-Two-Three:

This is how it’s done! Thanks, David


One: Copy and paste the link to one of your favorites talks into the social media of your choice.

Two: Add a comment of your own that you think your followers and friends would get intrigued by and want to watch it

Three: Add a few of the “hashtags” (Those words followed by a #) to help it show up in searches.

The  2018 TEDxProvincetown 10

Bear meets bear

It’s Scary & Exciting

Just when my life could not get any more interesting with all the balls I constantly juggle; earlier this year,  I was asked to do an actual licensed TEDx Talk as part of the first TEDxProvincetown that would address the concept of surviving and thriving in  “differentness” in a world that supports “sameness”.
Several months later, I was one of the lucky 10 people participating in Provincetown’s first TEDxProvincetown series this summer and sharing the stage with an incredible group of people. I am excited to say the full set of speaker links have finally gone live. Including mine!


But why TEDxProvincetown?

Sharing who I was has never been an issue. I learned early on, to be the best I can be today, meant often owning who I was in the past. So, in this case, it played out on the TEDx platform. 26 years ago, I left my life, commuting between Boston and Provincetown for an opportunity to work in San Francisco. I was then working in progressive sexual adult content mediums and communication structures addressing often ignored, overlooked, marginalized and underserved communities. Some of them included men like me, gay & bisexual men who didn’t fit with the then gay male archetype; who often struggled to find to a sense of identity with so few role-models to draw from.
So what happens? 26 years later I find myself talking about those very same issues to a wider audience! Of course, this partner’s perfect with the push in my efforts with to support all people in making the “best fit” choices for themselves and creating what they need when they don’t see it offered.
So it was an honor to share my experience as a gay man on body shaming, invisibility, resilience, and lessons learned from a “bigger” perspective with an incredible group of people.

And here it is! 

Did you like it?

I Need Your Help

I am proud to have been able to address body shaming, invisibility, and love beyond limits as part of the TEDxProvincetown program to audiences that extended beyond just gay men, including people of all types, ages, genders, and orientations.

I want to spread the word spread. Help me share the message to all audiences. This talk is one of the first licensed TEDx talks that actually addresses body shaming, sex, inclusion, and visibility from a bigger-bodied gay man’s experience. Because of this, it has the potential opportunity to reinforce that desire and love can blossom no matter the body type.  The more views the talk gets, the higher it ranks and the better the chances that it gets picked up for wider distribution. I’m asking that you include the link below in any announcement lists, email, newsletters or websites in an attempt to get the widest scope.

bear word cloudComments from viewersHow Can You Help?

Simple. Share the video link with your friends. Share it on Facebook, Twitter, etc. Anywhere you think people will see it. Don’t hold back to only LGBTQ audiences. This is a message for everyone. If you liked any of the other talks – share them too!

 Want more of it?

I am working on the extended version of this talk and it and other presentations will be available online as well as on the road. If you or your group would like to discuss my speaking in your area, please email me at

Sharing the talk is as easy as 1-2-3:

1. Copy and paste the link below

2. Add a comment of your own that you think your followers and friends would get intrigued by and want to watch it.

3. Add a few of the “hashtags” (Those words followed by a #) to help it show up in searches.
** Don’t forget youtube also allows you to use the embedded code as I did above if you prefer to have the video sit and play on your websites too.

The link to my talk on the TEDxProvincetown Youtube channel is as follows:

Feel free to tag me in any social media you choose to share using any of these hashtags:

My social media accounts include:

Twitter: @FVStrona,
Instagram: @FVStrona

Then What?

Watch the rest.
All 10 of the talks were outstanding and different so you may enjoy checking out one of the other co-presenters by checking out the full speaker’s playlist for all 10 talks here

Curious about TEDxProvincetown?

You can find out more on its website 
Read more about the other speakers
The hashtags & social media accounts for TEDxProvincetown include:
#TEDxPtown, #TEDxProvincetown
Facebook: [@TEDxProvincetown
Twitter:  [@TEDxPtown Profile, hashtag: #TEDxProvincetown]
Instagram: [TEDxProvincetown– profile, hashtag #TEDxPtown]

Common Side Effects of Stress and How to Manage Them

Posted August 25, 2018 By GuestSpot

With the fast-paced world that we live in, stress has almost become a fact of life. Being exposed to stress over long periods of time can begin to take a toll on one’s health and well-being. While it is important to address the cause of your stress, small steps can be taken to minimize the discomfort from the symptoms of stress and prevent further damage.

1. Upset Stomach

Chronic stress can leave your stomach in knots. If you’re noticing an increase in diarrhea, nausea, or constipation, it may be due to increased stress levels. Keeping a healthy diet and avoiding trigger foods, such as fried foods, may help temporarily alleviate an upset stomach.

2. Teeth Grinding or Clenching

Grinding of the teeth or clenching your jaw is a side effect of stress that you may not be aware of until someone else points it out because it often will occur while you are sleeping. Clenching of the jaw can be an unconscious reaction to stress and can happen during the day, as well. According to North End Dental Associates, “Night guards are recommended for people who clench or grind their teeth at night to protect their teeth from serious damage.”

3. Frequent Headaches

If you find yourself getting a headache once a day or a few times a week, it may be due to high-stress levels. Taking an over-the-counter pain reliever may help temporarily decrease the pain. Frequent headaches may also be a sign of dehydration; drinking the daily recommended amount of water may help to alleviate headaches.

4. Low Immune System

A particularly distressing side effect of being too stressed out is being sick all the time. It is important to take the time that your body needs to recover and rest while you are sick. It is well-known that stress lowers the body’s immune system, which makes it harder to fight off viruses and infections. According to Harvard Health Publishing, “General healthy-living strategies are a good way to start giving your immune system the upper hand.”

5. Low Energy

If your body is constantly in a high state of stress, it will leave you feeling worn down very quickly. Low energy can also be due to not sleeping well at night due to stress. It is not always feasible to give your body rest during the day when it needs it; however, it is important to be getting the recommended eight hours of sleep per night at a minimum.

Short-term remedies are enough to treat the side effects of stress temporarily but to truly recover, you must address the cause of your stress. Many people benefit greatly from talking with a lifestyle coach or therapist to identify the cause of their stress and to develop effective methods to eliminate their stress.

Allowing your self to try something new is always scary and many times that makes it easy to ignore or discount it as useful. Yoga, acupuncture and other forms of treatments that you are not familiar with may seem beyond you at the moment. But many times if you can just take the risk and try something – you may find some relief and learn something new about yourself too. For instance, a friend of mine recently shared this video with me about yoga. While I am not a big fan of it for myself I know far too many folks who have success with it to “poo poo” it. So even I am trying it to fight some potential issues with a pesky case of plantar fasciitis before it gets worse.

For more ways to deal with stress, especially regarding your business, check out more posts from this awesome site!

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Guiding a Loved One To Accepting Help

Posted August 21, 2018 By GuestSpot

Approaching Your Loved One Regarding Getting Help

No one wants to see a loved one suffer when help is within reach. It’s hard to watch someone spiral out of control, losing everything that they’ve worked so hard for in life. When someone is struggling with mental health concerns, you can’t just stand by and do nothing because the chances are that they can’t fix their lives on their own and they need someone. Addiction is a disease that plagues so many, but luckily, there is always help.

Talk About It


Talking to someone for the first time about addiction can be tough. Chances are that they know they have a problem but they don’t want to hear it from someone else. Addicts don’t want to hear how their life is crumbling and that it’s because of the poor choices they’re making. That’s why it’s crucial to tread lightly when bringing up an addiction. Never make the person feel like they’re a failure, instead, show them that there are options to get clean. From this article, “families should understand that approaching their loved one should be a gentle and supportive process, but they also need to understand that most patients seek substance abuse treatment because of positive family involvement and intervention.”

Be Supportive

When someone is struggling with addiction, there is one main thing that they need. They need support from friends and family alike. That support can make or break their decision to get clean. According to rehab center experts, “during difficult times of struggle, ailment, and addiction, it’s not only the person with the problem or illness that’s affected; family members and friends are oftentimes just as much a part of the path to recovery and improvement as the patient themselves.” Support means everything because it tells this person, “we believe in you and we will do everything we can to help you get clean.” It also means growing with them and learning just as they are. In addition, this support isn’t just emotional. Those trying to get clean will also need people to rely on for physical aspects like rides to rehab and even just a home cooked meal to help feel like valued and cared about.

Offer Resources

When a person wants to get clean, they’ll be surprised at just how many resources there are available to them. Chances are, however, that they won’t look into these themselves. They need someone else guiding them along the way and pushing them to get clean. When a drug has taken hold of an addicts brain, it’s hard for them to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s up to that core support group to show this person struggling that there are options such as rehab whether it be inpatient or outpatient, meetings, counseling, and more. It’s all about coming up with a plan that supports them.

Accept The Ups and Downs

Addiction is a disease and loving someone with that disease is a process. Experts say to make sure you are available for that person for the good times and the bad, and show that you want to help. That’s why family and friends must accept that every day won’t be easy. Getting clean is something the recovering addict will struggle with for weeks, months, and even years. That’s why that core support group is so essential.

If you’re looking for help in your journey, either as someone who is recovering or as a loved one, make sure to take the right steps to set yourself up for success. If you are wanting some additional guidance, I recommend reading some of our other articles which you can find here and here.


The 5 Most Common Causes of PTSD Attacks

Posted June 23, 2018 By GuestSpot

According to Safe Harbour Trauma Recovery, post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is a mental disorder caused by a traumatic experience. When an individual is suffering from it, they are unable to cope or move forward from the traumatic event, and ultimately, the individual experiences a continuous cycle of reliving the experience or experiences during times that trigger it.

The notion of PTSD has evolved over centuries to reflect societal perceptions. After the American Civil War, it was known as “soldier’s heart.” After the two World Wars, it was called “shellshock.” Since that time, PTSD has undergone many clinical definition changes.

One thing is for sure. The PTSD name is slightly miscategorized. Experiencing stress because of trauma is not necessarily a disorder. It is the natural and lasting reaction to situations that are abnormally poignant and disturbing. People can experience symptoms of PTSD in extraordinarily stressful but not physically dangerous situations. It doesn’t take a war situation to alter perception negatively. Everyday life situations can subject people to stress that results in negative feelings.

Horrible Family Situations

Daily fighting amongst family members can produce the continual feeling of failure. Family arguments create the sense that living in a household is toxic and dangerous. Past arguments have lasting effects that tend to dictate how future behaviors will unfold.

Bad Work Environments

Sometimes, corporate demands are devoid of humanity. People who work in demanding jobs often experience stress levels that go beyond all reasonable boundaries for the position. The fear of losing a job if all demands are not met seeps into every aspect of life.

Disturbing Dreams

The night is the time that some people dread. When dreams occur, they can bring about disturbing images and mental situations that remind the dreamer of past stressful events. Alarming dreams can interrupt healthy rest patterns while affecting all other aspects of an ordinarily productive daily life.

Constant Barrages of Responsibility

Everyone must endure the hounding of things like paying bills and having to perform adult tasks. Certain life circumstances create situations that are unmanageable for some people. The unfriendly and impersonal daily reminders of debts and duties can elevate stress levels to unbelievable heights.

Social Worries

Due to the advancements of social media proliferation, some people can be overwhelmed with the need to match societal expectations. A compulsion to continually compare oneself with others is an endless game that is never won. The need to meet other people’s expectations can be immensely stressful and can create unique versions of performance stress.

It is very common to be involved in extraordinarily stressful but not physically dangerous situations. Counselors trained in recognizing and countering the effects of stress are significant resources for people suffering from harsh past experiences. For most, a life coach is able to suggest actions to counter negative feelings. A long-term mentor can guide anyone through a personal struggle, and there are various ways in addition to therapy on how you could approach change in your life. Seeking help with PTSD, in all of its forms, is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a proactive and positive step toward a more free and productive life.

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Retooling Approaches to Changing Your Life

Posted June 4, 2018 By Frank Strona

If something feels like it’s been off lately, it may be time to think about what aspects of your life need some refreshing and retooling. Don’t panic at the thought. We all go through this at one time or another. In fact, incorporating small changes and adjustments can breed big ones without you even realizing it. When you start to make better choices, you may notice that other areas of your life begin to improve, too. So instead of looking at it as an improvement, consider it an investment in retooling yourself. 

I selected four areas this month for you to reflect on and take out for a test spin for your retooling.


If you’re struggling financially, consider how retooling how you spend money might look like. most people would tell you to the place to start is to trim back your budget and be more frugal. That makes sense and we all have some “wants” that pad our budgets that are not clear “needs” for us to thrive and be healthy. However, another option is to start making more money.

Maybe you’re not over-spending, or you genuinely feel like the things you spend your money are or more than worth it. Look for extra income streams. Exploring the idea of a side job you can do from home. Sometimes taking on those side gigs allow you to enhance a side-love or hobby you have a passion for and might inspire other changes. Or look closer to home with a focused effort and assessment of what you have around the house that is just taking up space. This could be all inventory that you could be selling and reinvesting those funds back to you. Several new tools are out that make selling from home super easy. Smart device applications like Letgo, eBay and Etsy can be managed from your computer and your smart devices. Being short on money doesn’t always mean you’re over-spending; sometimes it means you’re under-earning.

Job Opportunities

If you’re unhappy with your current career or role in your job, retooling your thinking about careers or options for a different role in your industry all start by learning more about them. Research new career paths or delve into a niche of your field. Sign up for classes or attend lectures. Make it clear to your manager that you’re interested in moving up and that you’re taking the necessary steps to expand your knowledge and experience. One of the basic tools to not overlook is the “informational interview”.  These meet-ups with those in the workforce who hold the roles you are considering (or the places you would like to be in) offer a casual, low-pressure way to make a first impression, explore the place and culture without feeling like you are on display. It also expands your network and practices your “small talk” skills.

Something to always consider is getting out of your comfort zone. If you hate sales or haven’t experienced pitching things to others, maybe it’s time to try it out. Sometimes it’s doing the things we hate that can lead to greater success and happiness. Be open to change and to taking a chance when it comes to job opportunities. But, that being said – there is a difference between expanding your comfort zone and pushing your personal ethics and boundaries. 


Retooling your body and health; have you found that you’ve been taking care of yourself less? Perhaps overeating, or overindulging in drugs or alcohol more and more as a way to cope with something stressful or painful in your life? Maybe something else has happened, such as an injury, or other health issues that have caused you to take substances that are bad for you. It happens. However, according to MIA, “In most cases there are more areas for improvement than simply alcohol and drug abuse.” Maybe this includes more exercise, daily interaction with a neighbor or a friend, getting out for a walk, and just being productive.

Even if you don’t feel like there’s a way out of the cycle, it is possible to overcome and grow beyond these less constructive behaviors, especially with all of the professionals out there to help. Sometimes something as simple as attending a meeting is a significant first step toward making healthier choices.


Are you struggling to enjoy your relationship? It might need some retooling as well. It could be your perspective that needs changing. For the next month, keep a gratitude journal specifically about your relationship and your partner. Every morning, write down three things that you appreciate them and try not to repeat the things you write down. This appreciation may help you view your significant other differently, which could be all you need to have a happier, more satisfying relationship. You can write old school with a journal or notebook, or adapt newer technology and incorporate tools like Notes or EverNote. Doesn’t matter which you use, its about doing it routinely and rereading it from time to time.

Remember, you don’t have to make massive, drastic changes to improve your quality of life. If significant changes do need to be made, consider breaking them down into smaller changes. Over time, you’ll make vast improvements, even if you go about them slowly and methodically.



Four Business Skills That Can Improve Your Work and Social Life

People learn most of the fundamental skills for business when they’re young. Some kids take leadership roles, while others create the games or activities in which they participate. These salient skills become better defined as individuals take high school and college courses and complete challenging projects, though not every skill can be learned in school. In the corporate world, however, the most successful people cultivate many business skills that can also carry over to their social life. 

The same could also be said about habits that can leave a person less than able to do and be the best that one can be. This is where coaching and mentoring comes in. A well-seasoned coach can offer support and guidance for those with strong habits that need to be nurtured, retooled and in some cases relearned. Here are some of the essential skills you’ll need to succeed in your career and social life that you can develop on your own or with the help of a coach/mentor.

Business Skill 1: Communication

Our first business skill focuses on how we get ideas and thoughts across to others. Communication skills include the ability to listen, speak, read and write effectively, according to the Center for Development & Learning. You must be able to listen, hear and read instructions to complete tasks the right way. Understanding how to write and speak effectively to get your point across or inform your colleagues, and leadership is a key function in a company’s performance or financial results process. Even in your personal life, communication is crucial. Kyani explains “Dating coaches and sales professionals often teach the need to create desire, and want for more in a conversation in order to achieve success.” In your social life, good communication alleviates stress with your loved ones, enhances relationships and creates new opportunities based on clarity instead of confusion.

Business Skill 2: Networking

We have spoken about the power of talk before. Perhaps one of the most frightening skills to master, the ability to socialize in work settings, or networking enables you to develop contacts for which to conduct business, find colleagues and develop an identity in the workplace.  Business is a numbers game. The more people you know, the better your chances for success. Networking is also essential as a way to enhance your social life, whether you meet people through social media, church, events or online dating sites. The technique of “making small talk” can help take you from “standing in the corner” to “being part of the group”. Start increasing your exposure today in both your work and personal life. You’ll enjoy the fruits of your efforts. Take little steps; one of my favorite exercises is to suggest someone go to a coffee shop but instead of keeping your face on your tablet or phone, engage someone a conversation. The conversation doesn’t have to be long or in-depth but it should be enough to do the following take you out of yourself and bring you at the moment with salient topical talk. 

Offer an open-ended greeting

Add to it an inquiry [note -This could about the weather, the taste of what they are eating, observational query on what they are reading etc]

Be aware of your body language. are you looking at the person? are you making eye contact?

Do they appear interested in talking more?

Listen to the reply and respond as appropriate.

It will feel forced, but as you practice it will begin to feel more natural as you develop your natural sense of inquiry.

Business Skill 3: Decision-Making

Making proper decisions is an essential step in becoming a leader, according to Mind Tools. When you make a decision, you must take a systematic approach to get there. For example, if you’re deciding which features or styles you need for a product, your modus operandi should include surveying or talking with customers. Developing decision-making skills is one of the most valuable abilities you can learn, and business leaders know how to make the hard calls. They’re the ones buying your product. Similarly, the ability to decide where to go on a date or how to handle a personal situation is an attractive quality to the opposite sex.

How you communicate as we mentioned above also relates to this process. Hearing “I don’t care” is very different than “I do not have a preference and willingness to “. The intent is often not implied, so practice clarity in the decision making process.  What are you needing to make the decision?

Business Skill 4: Negotiating

Negotiating is one of the most valuable and fundamental compromise skills anyone can learn. In sales, for example, you have competitors who may be vying for the same clients. To get the order, you must stress the benefits of your product over competitors, defend any organizational shortcomings and even change the price to close the deal. Negotiating is also essential in your personal life. You may need to sacrifice a session at the gym or skip a favorite event to appease your spouse.

Start developing some of these essential business skills that can have a profound effect on both your work and social life. You’ll be a much happier and contented person because of it. It may feel awkward at first – but you have to learn to stand before you can run!





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